Thursday, 6 June 2013

NBA Finals Game 1 Preparation

Tonight will kick off the first game of what I hope to be a fantastic series in the NBA Finals and rather than make a Game 1 Preview I decided to make a Game 1 Preperation. As most people who will read this know I am a devout Spurs fan so there is an obvious reason for me to be excited. So, as a long time Spurs fan, I would also like to take this time out to welcome everybody living outside of Dade County to the bandwagon and lay out some of the ground rules. You see, rooting for the Spurs is not as easy as just hoping they win the NBA Championship because you, like everybody else in the world, hate Bron Bron. Nope. This bandwagon will be about pulling together for the comraderie of a team looking to solidify itself as one of the best, if not the best, teams of the last decade. For this reason and for the fact I fear not all of you are fully committed to rooting on this fantastic team that isn't at all boring to watch, I have comprised a list. This is a list of rules, regulations and random facts that I deemed were necessary in preparation for tonight's game 1. These are to be memorized and committed to heart before tip off tonight.

  1. The Spurs are not boring to watch
  2. Every foul called on the Spurs is a flop on the Heat
  3. Manu Ginobili does not flop
  4. Ray Allen sucks (I like Boston and I'm still bitter)
  5. Shane Battier is a no good Dukie (Both in the university sense and the, what I flush down the toilet, sense)
  6. The Spurs are not boring to watch
  7. There is a love hate relationship with Thiago Splitter
    1. We hate him because he just looks like he doesn't belong on the court and also looks downright weird
    2. We love him because for some odd reason he is...good?
  8. It is still the Alamo Dome as far as we Spurs fans are concerned
  9. Norris Cole has an awesome haircut (That's not really relevant to the Spurs, but I though everybody should know this)

  10. The Heat like really unnecessarily oversized things
    1. Udonis Haslems mouth piece
    2. Lebrons headband
  11. Dwyane Wade gets dressed with his eyes closed and he must be ridiculed for that

  12. The Spurs are not boring to watch
  13. You must watch all courstide interviews with Greg Popovich because they are that good

  14. Do not refer to Gregg Popovich as Gregg Popovich. His name is Pop or Coach Pop and since he is the best coach in the NBA nobody is worthy enough to call him by his first name
  15. On a related coaching note, Erik Spolstra is not a good coach
  16. In fact let's just go ahead an say Erike Spolstra isn't even a coach and isn't even good enough to hold Tracy McGrady's towel and gatorade.
  17. Tracy McGrady probably doesn't need a towel or gatorade, but let's be honest we all want him to get that ring
  18. The Spurs are not boring to watch
  19. Tony Parker is the best rapper alive

  20. It is perfectly acceptable to call Tim Duncan “Timmayyyyy”
  21. Manu Ginobili STILL does not flop
  22. Kawhi Leonard does not show any excitement, therefore you must show it for him
  23. You must also refer to him in the way to which he prefers which is by the very neutral, non-emotional letter “y”
  24. The guy literally never shows any emotion at all. Seriously watch the game and see if he cracks or smile or gets excited once.
  25. Although Borris Diaw is a little chunk we will respect him for the versatility he brings to the floor.
  26. Gary Neal has two first names.
  27. But seriously, Y will just run down the court throw it down all up in somebodies grill and then just turn and run back down court

  28. Patty Mills is Australian so that's pretty cool
  29. You saw the video right? Guy stole it, went the length of the court, threw it down lefty and then just has an”Eh, whatever, that was kind of tiring” look on his face.

So there you have it. A list of 30 things everyone must learn in order to root for the Spurs before tonight's game. For the record, I will disregard the fact that most of you hated the Spurs for the last 10 years and calling them boring to watch. Now, I welcome you aboard the “Go Spurs Go” Bandwagon, cheer your hearts out and check back before game 2 for a recap of game 1 and preview for game 2.  

P.S. This blog was quickly and hastily put together. I will jazz it up as soon as I get the chance

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